HEADACHE

Could someone please pull the pencil out of my eye socket that has somehow been jammed in just below my eyebrow? Because it's making me feel a bit urpy? Thanks, ever so much.

Race matters

The Friday June 24th post at Waiter Rant got me thinking about something I've considered for some time. To summarize his post, he confesses to a misunderstanding that makes him appear racist.

Although I'm as white as they come, I feel somewhat qualified to address this, being married to a Chinese man, mom to two biracial daughters, and having lived as a minority in another culture for three years.

The truth is, I think we all harbor racist tendencies. For most people, these are probably not intentional or intended to be hurtful. As humans, we tend to make generalizations, and the easiest kind to make is based on what we see. Skin color is a noticeable visible difference between people. I will confess: when I am driving in downtown Indianapolis, if I see a black man near my car, I will automatically check to see if the car doors are locked. And I'm ashamed every time I catch myself doing it.

I even still make generalizations about Chinese people, though my husband sometimes encourages this with his own generalizations about his race. We both agree that Chinese (mainly immigrants, not Chinese born here) tend to be late.

I've been affected by racist attitudes myself. A minor one that drives me crazy is how Chinese (again, immigrants) tend to refer to anyone who is not Chinese as a "laowai" or "waiguoren", which means foreigner. This is true even here in the United States, where I will sometimes hear Chinese friends talking about some or other waiguoren. If my husband is in hearing range, he will quickly chime in and say "zheli, ni shi laowai!" (Here, YOU are the foreigner!). Sometimes I have used this in a teasing voice with my own Chinese friends when they do this. Some of them just look at me blankly as if they have no idea what I am talking about. My point is not who is or is not a foreigner; it's that Chinese tend to think of anyone who is not Chinese as an outsider. That is literally what "waiguoren" means...outside-country person.

Living in China I experienced some racist attitudes as well, most of them relatively benign. But one in particular I will never forget. A few days after we were married, we were traveling by bus to a nearby town to visit friends. A middle-aged man kept staring at us and finally asked Leo if he was my interpreter (something we got quite a bit). Upon hearing that I was his wife, he asked something very odd: he asked Leo if his parents had adopted me some years ago. From other stories I had heard, I knew that in Chinese culture, a blood son will sometimes marry an adopted daughter out of duty or pity. Before Leo could recover enough from his shock at the implication, the man went on to warn Leo that his life would be extremely difficult and full of problems because he had married me, a foreigner. At that point, Leo basically told him to shut up, because he had no clue what he was talking about.

Even though that incident stung, I eventually came to realize that the man's attitudes were based on ignorance. All racism is, really. Whether it's ill-intentioned or simply based on assumption and stereotype, racism exists because of lack of understanding of other races and cultures.

I don't discount that hate exists. I know it does, and sadly, it will as long as this world exists simply because evil exists. But as long as those of us who are merely ignorant of other cultures continue to try to learn, I do believe hate will be less.

And to anyone who is not white who may be reading this: please accept my apology for the times I act out of ignorance and fear of what I don't know or understand. I'm still learning, and I know I will be my whole life. But I'm trying. I think at least admitting that we each sometimes still have racist attitudes is the first step towards change, because if we don't admit this, we are saying we have nothing left to learn about people who are different from ourselves.

I'm wondering...

...how much caffeine Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper has in it? Because tonight I had something like, oh, 32 oz of it. And it's almost 1 a.m. And I'm still up.

And I'm thinking I'm going to go have a little more (carbs be damned!).

I hate that I feel compelled to write this, but...

...I'm going to anyway. I don't like to rant; or maybe I like to TOO much, so I've learned to try to avoid it. I can't avoid it this time.

Tom Cruise is an absolute idiot. I realize I am almost certainly not the first to say this (Hi, Brooke!). But I didn't always think he was an idiot. Perhaps a bit arrogant, yes, even though his charm usually managed to hide this. I actually once considered myself a fan; I own videos like Top Gun, Mission: Impossible, Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men, The Firm...I could go on and on.

Katie at Snick-r-snack recently wrote a great post on Tom's recent interview with Matt Lauer. I went to go watch the whole interview myself, and any remnant of respect for him, as an actor or otherwise, dissolved by the end of the segment.

My problem is not that he is a Scientologist. It's not that he thinks vitamins and exercise will cure anything, including ADD or depression. It's that there's just no balance. It's that he's so condescending and patronizing, implying that anyone with a different opinion is simply ignorant. He said to Matt Lauer in this interview several times, "You don't know, and I do." He insinuated that Matt Lauer was "irresponsible" for suggesting that antidepressants might actually work for some people, because he, Matt, OBVIOUSLY hadn't researched it as well as Tom himself had (does the lad have a degree in psychiatry, I have to wonder?).

It's true I'm a bit biased; I'm on an antidepressant myself, Zoloft, and have previously been on fluoxetine (the generic version of Prozac). I went on Prozac when I realized I was at the end of my rope with post-partum depression and needed some help. Although my daughter was by then already over a year old, I had been depressed since her birth, and had not been able to shake it. So I asked my doctor to prescribe Prozac. The effects were very fast; within a week and a half, I felt more balanced, more rational, more able to deal with life. I successfully weaned myself off of the Prozac when I got pregnant with my second daughter. When she was born, I did not feel depressed right away, and thought I might escape it this time. But within a few weeks, I felt the old feelings coming back. After a couple of days of that, I knew I was not going to let myself sink to the depths of my previous depression. This time, since I was nursing an infant, I asked my doctor for Zoloft (it's a bit more breastfeeding friendly). Again, very fast results. This is significant because when a person is depressed, you can't always risk waiting a long time for results. I don't think I can say I was ever suicidal the first time, but I definitely felt like hurting myself physically, and I KNOW I hurt my psyche over and over, beating myself up from guilt and shame over my thoughts. Would vitamins and exercise have given me results as quickly? I have say that I doubt it.

I also find it ironic that Mr. Cruise does not consider vitamins to be drugs or chemicals. Anything you ingest is a chemical, and if it has an effect on your body, then it's a drug (at least, that's my understanding, though I could be wrong. Don't shoot me for not being as informed as you, Tom). The thing is, I think that, while I could probably have tried "vitamins" while on these antidepressants (and I've never figured out exactly which vitamins he thinks will help depression), so that I could at some point stop taking the antidepressants, I don't see how switching one for another is any different. Prozac had ZERO side effects on me. None. Zip. Zilch. Zoloft, well, I think it makes me tired. But I am doing something to try to go off of it that Tom himself probably would not: I'm getting counseling. Since by his own admission he completely disagrees with psychiatry, I can imagine he would have little to do with some of the exercises my therapist takes me through. But my end goal is to get off drugs. And at the end of that time, I won't be on any "vitamins" either.

I'm not opposed to holistic medicine, which seems to be what Tom Cruise is advocating. Actually, my exposure to Chinese culture has made me more aware of it and open to it. Both my children were born at home, unmedicated. But there is a BALANCE. I think holistic medicine works best when it's used in conjunction with allopathic medicine, and vice-versa. And I also don't think everyone NEEDS to give birth at home, or without medication. There are many ways to do things, and though I am not a believer in relativism in all things, I do believe that what works for me may not work for you. And what doesn't work for me...well, it might work for you. Ideally, we learn from each other's different experiences, taking from each other what we can learn from the other and adding it to what we know works for us.

It's clear to me that Tom Cruise has never personally suffered from depression, or if he has, is delusional enough not to realize it. Because while he claims just the opposite, it's obvious that HE does not know what he is talking about.

I'm really starting to ramble a bit, but I think I've made my point. I did comment on Katie's post that I believed Tom's career would start to falter if someone didn't rein him in, but sadly, I have a feeling that like Michael Jackson, this freakishness will only generate publicity for him. However, I've resolved that I will not watch another Tom Cruise movie again; it may seem like a petty type of boycott. Oh well. It works for me.

Oh, and Katie Holmes? I would not be one BIT surprised if she starts to wonder about this nut she's engaged to and decide to call it all off. I'm wondering if she's already having second thoughts. If she's not, she's not as thoughtful and informed of a person as Tom Cruise seems to respect anyway.

END. OF. RANT. (at least, for now!)

Dustmites

Wondering if anyone else besides me can answer this (without Googling the answer!)

This guy released a CD last year called Songs for Dustmites. It's somewhat alternative music, on an indie label. But long before Dustmites, he was famous...for what?

(Hint: You are more likely to know the answer if you've got kids under, say, 10 or 12)

Things I want to do before I die

I know, I know, I'm delinquent in posting. No good reason why; I've been reading blogs, but not posting (and not even commenting much!). Just takin' it easy this week. I was telling Leo earlier this evening how I wish I didn't need to sleep, because then I could stay up as late as I wanted and still have the energy to get up early and get started on my day so STUFF ACTUALLY GETS DONE. (novel concept, I know) Alas, not only do I need to sleep, I have a fairly hefty sleep debt that I decided to try to catch up on this past week, which meant going to be a little early and sleeping in late most mornings (late being 7:00 instead of 6:00). That seriously cut into my blogging time, and the end result was I did not post all week.

Anyway...I've had this post on the back burner for a few months, and though it's not even close to 100 items as I'd originally planned, it makes for an easy post (because I already had that much written).

Side note, before I get off here...I saw the strangest thing in the trashcan sitting outside Borders tonight...a remote control. As in, to a TV (it had a "sleep" button on it, so I knew without having to push stuff around and touch it, ewwww...). How weird is that?

Ok...enough stalling. Sorry for the delay; hopefully it won't be yet another week before I get another one cranked out!

1. Visit all seven continents, including Antarctica (N.A. and Asia already done).
2. Live six months of the year in China, six months in Indiana.
3. Lose weight and maintain around 115 pounds.
4. Finish my master's degree.
5. Have grandkids to spoil.
6. Live in a log home built by my husband and me.
7. Travel to Taiwan.
8. Travel to Israel.
9. Visit all 50 states + DC (Already done: IN, OH, IL, MI, KY, TN, AR, MO, KS, CO, WY, SD, WI, CA, AL, GA, FL, WV, VA, NC, PA, NY, MD, CT, MA, VT, NH, ME
10. Visit New York City.
11. Attend one Summer and one Winter Olympic Games (working on husband to go to Beijing in 2008!)
12. Learn HTML (beyond my feeble current knowledge).
13. Improve my Chinese to native or near-native fluency.
14. Read through the whole Bible in a year.
15. Become a vegetarian, at least for a while.
16. Shake hands with a sitting U.S. president (preferably one I voted for!)
17. Take a week's vacation by myself. Anywhere, I don't care, just me!
18. Be a published writer (and be paid for it).
19. Master Flylady's system.
20. Learn to read Greek.
21. Learn to read ancient Hebrew.
22. Learn Latin.
23. Ride in a helicopter.
24. See a Broadway play.
25. Stay in the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island.
26. Run away with the circus (or at least party with them for a while).
27. Avoid ever spending one night in the hospital.
28. Attend a service at a megachurch.
29. Go to the top of the Empire State Building.
30. Take my kids to Disneyworld.
31. See the Grand Canyon.
32. See an active volcano.
33. Be on Jeopardy! (unlikely) or Wheel of Fortune (more reasonable).
34. Own a red Mustang convertible.
35. Break my bad cuticle-picking habit.
36. Get a full makeover at a spa: hair, face, manicure, pedicure, the works.
37. Go on a cruise (but only if they get rid of this cruise sickness I keep reading about).
38. Trace my genealogy further back than the first Butler to come over here from England.

(A somewhat belated) Stuff Portrait Friday: Regrets, Obligations, and Distinctives

(I wanted to get this up earlier, but Blogger ate my post. Argh! Figures...)

What was I thinking? (three parts; parts 1 and 2 go together)

Part 1


Part 2


The Parenting magazine in the second picture is an unintentional irony. We acquired Linus and Lucy before Audrey was born, so they are definitely family pets, not exclusively hers. That means that, although Audrey does help care for them, as the adults in the family, it falls to Leo and me to make certain they are healthy and well-cared for. I had a cat as a child, but she was also a family cat, so I was not fully aware of all the responsibilities (read: hassles), of pet ownership, even relatively low-maintenance pets like cats, until I was an adult pet-owner. I love them, don't get me wrong. But the days when I step in cat puke, when I note 20 small chunks of black fur on my light-colored carpet, when one or the other has to be taken to the vet for pee-problems (which once almost killed Linus), those are the days when "What was I thinking?" goes through my head.

Part 3


We live in Indiana. In the spring and summer, we sometimes have tornadoes in Indiana. When we were looking for our first house (this one), I was determined to have one with a basement to retreat to when the storm warnings hit. This is the door to the basement...the only door. Note that it is on the outside. I was fully aware when we bought the house that if a bad storm hit and there was a tornado warning, the implication was that we would have to go OUTSIDE INTO THE STORM to get to the basement. I was infatuated with the cute little house, though, and my better judgment lost to infatuation. My "what was I thinking" moments come when the courthouse siren is wailing that a funnel cloud has been spotted in our area, I am trying to remain calm while telling Audrey, "Get your shoes on now NO DON'T ASK WHY OR WHICH PAIR JUST DO IT NOW!", and strapping my octopus-like baby into her carseat to carry down to our basement (which is NOT finished, has bugs and cobwebs and much dirt and dust, and, as I noticed a few days ago when we were down there during such an incident, has a small stream leaking into it. At least the little stream is just inches from the sump pump.)

Something I feel obligated to display:


It's not such an obligation to display Audrey's artwork, as anyone who has read my blog this week knows. This one has been on my fridge for over a year, though, because it's a picture she drew of her own birth. I can't bring myself to take it down. On the left is the midwife that caught her; her daddy is on the right. And in the middle, that's me in the "birth tub", the inflatable kiddie pool I gave birth to her in. (That's a longer post; I'll post her birth story next month around her birthday). Note the look of horror on my face (though I did not and still do not feel that birth is such a horrific experience!). Also note that if you look closely enough, you can see HER inside me. Feet first, don'tcha know, as if she were breech (she was not). Her birth was an incredible experience, pain and all, and I'm committed to raising both my girls to believe birth is NOT all about pain and fear and losing control. Hence, I am compelled to leave the picture up to show her how much her birth meant to me. I'll probably frame it someday, along with her Zoe picture.

Something I have that I don't think anyone else does:


A calendar featuring Chinese propaganda posters from the Cultural Revolution. Am I right??? You don't have one, do you? Aren't you jealous? (Leo got me this for Christmas; I was thrilled that he was at the point that, even having lived through the Cultural Revolution as a child, he could see the kitschy humor in this.)

Pink Butterflies and Ten Pounds

I made this for Audrey's birthday, which is coming up next month. Not sophisticated, but it is a child's necklace, after all.

I had this necklace mostly strung last week, but I decided later to add the charm. I did not realize until I started to string the butterfly beads that the hole runs up and down, and not side to side...totally messed up my design! ;) I found the charm, and thought it would add a little more of the horizontal balance I was looking for.



I'm still not perfectly happy with this one either, though definitely much more so than the cheap pony bead nursing necklace! I won't elaborate on what I'm dissatisfied with, though, because I'm not trying to invite comments like "Oh, it's not that bad!" I'm happy enough with it to call it a success.

Onto the poundage...I have been forgetting to weigh myself first thing in the morning at the beginning of each week. I like to weigh myself after I pee and before I eat, so as to be the lightest possible, but I keep forgetting and eating breakfast. A couple of times I weighed myself anyway, and was discouraged to see the needle hovering around 134 or 135 for a couple of weeks in succession, I assumed I was plateauing, and figured my chai and chocolate binge of a couple days ago did not help matters much. Imagine my surprise when I finally remembered to step on the scale before eating this morning, and found I was just barely above 130. Friends, that's 10, count 'em, 10 pounds lost in a couple of months. Not a record pace, but as I think mrtl commented at one point, the slower they come off, the longer they stay off.

I'm hoping to get down to around 115, which, though that might seem too low to some, is still about 15 pounds more than what I weighed in high school, and it is not an inappropriate weight for my 5'2" frame. If I do plateau out at 120, though, I'll be satisfied with that. Ideally, I'd like 115-120 to be the range I can play around with.

First Beaded Work...Finished

Don't get too excited. As jewelry goes, this is extremely simple, cheap, and not even especially beautiful. (And, as I've found out, not very comfortable.) However, there is a purpose for all things... Let me explain:

First of all, the first thing I thought of when I decided to start making beaded jewelry is something called a nursing necklace. When babies get to be about 5 or 6 months old, they are very distractable while eating (whether nursing or taking a bottle, I understand). Especially in the case of breastfeeding, for the mother, this can range from annoying ("How many people would you like me to flash today, Aislinn?") to painful ("PLEASE let go before you turn your head to look around!"). Also about this time, some babies' hands start to wander, touching mama's face, pinching her neck, twiddling the, er, other side (I DO NOT TOLERATE THIS MYSELF! AGH!) This is where a nursing necklace comes in. The mama wears the necklace while feeding her baby, giving the baby something to look at and maybe even play with. It is, of course, important to be aware of safety; nursing necklaces are not really meant to be mouthed by the baby, and baby should not play with the necklace unsupervised.

The fun part of this is coming up with different designs. Beyond the pinks and pastel blues, there are many adorable plastic animal beads out there, as well as airplanes and boats, bugs, basketball and baseball beads. This first necklace of mine was inspired by one I saw on another mom's website. She took red, white, and black beads to make a nursing necklace for an infant, as those are the colors a newborn sees most easily. Newborns aren't as distractable as older babies can be, but I thought it was a great idea for a first nursing necklace.

For me, this was really meant to be a practice necklace (especially since Aislinn is past the newborn stage), something I could make so I could say, OK, I finished one! I used black silk cord, cheap plastic pony beads, and alphabet blocks to spell her name. I finished the ends with crimping loops (and made a mess of THOSE, let me tell you) and a barrel clasp, but the necklace is big enough to be pulled easily over my head. I'm fairly satisfied with this, simple as it is, because I enjoyed figuring out a pattern. My only real disappointment is that it's not practical to wear; the pony beads are SO cheap, that they have bits of extra plastic around the edges, makign it very scratchy on my neck, especially when she pulls on it. I could probably file them off, but I won't. I'm already on to a nicer version of the red/black/white motif. I'll save this one for posterity.

Anyway, without further ado, here is my first creation:



I've already got a nicer one with glass beads laid out on my bead board, but I don't want to string it until I get really strong cord (Kevlar or PowerPro, I've heard are the strongest). I want a strong cord that's hard to break for this kind of necklace especially, because if it were to break, can you say "choking hazard"? I also want to order some magnetic clasps, for the same reason.

More Art by Audrey

Sorry, forgive me, I just can't help myself. No, this one isn't getting published. She just drew this today and I like it a lot. This is with Crayola Color Wonder Markers (the ones that only show up on the special paper). I have no idea why she decided to punch some holes around the edges and tie a piece of yarn in one of them, but I love that she did.

Ah...Now That's MUCH Better...

Did you know that there exists in this universe Kahlua-flavored chocolate bars? Well, there does, and I had one this afternoon, along with a large (yes, large) hot chai. That's right, I not only got my chai this afternoon at Borders, I also decadently indulged in a two-and-a-quarter ounce bar of milk chocolate sin. YEEHAH! And I feel 200% better than I did when I wrote the previous post. It's amazing what a couple of hours to myself will do for me. I also sunk about $40 into a couple of bead books, which I feel more guilty about, but not much, since that also contributed to feeling better.

And now...the kids are in bed, the house is quiet, my bead books are calling....life is good.

WARNING: Female Talk Ahead. Male Readers BEWARE

(I meant to post this earlier than it's actually showing up, but it somehow got saved as a draft, grrr...figures.)

Thanks for all the encouraging words about beading. I need to clarify that I have not finished anything yet, though I do have one necklace (birthday present for Audrey) that I just need to add findings to, and a couple of others that need stringing and findings. I'll need to get at least one pair of pliers, perhaps more, before I can finish the first one.

I don't know what is up, but I am feeling absolutely hormonal today. Irritable, grouchy, headachy. I feel exactly like I do the first day or so of my period, like there is acid running through my veins. Maybe it is about to start. Aislinn is six months old, and I have seen not one drop of red since she was born (one of the DEFINITE advantages of breastfeeding!). I wouldn't mind so much if it started again, but then I'd have to start thinking about whether or not I want to risk getting pregnant again, which for me, also means considering if I want to risk a miscarriage. Argh. I'm not ready to think about this.

I want chocolate, chocolate ice cream, to be precise. Even though the weight loss has slowed, I've been relatively good (with a couple of exceptions) about not eating junk at home, and I haven't had many opportunities to eat junk outside, either. I think I need to be bad tonight. It's Turtle Somethin' day at Ritter's**, and I want me some yummy frozen custard.

If I'm very fortunate, maybe Leo will sense tonight is a good night to send me to Borders. At very least, I am getting some chocolate.

**If you don't have a Ritter's near you, you are sorely deprived. And I, my friends, have the privelege of living a few short blocks away from the original Ritter's stand. If you know what Ritter's is, and you've ever wondered how Grizzly Cub Sundaes got there name, it's because our local high school mascot is the Grizzly Cub.

Random Update

I've been negligent in blogging this week. At least, I feel that way. I'm in the process of starting an addictive new hobby that my therapist recommended: beading. It's kind of ironic, because I don't really wear that much jewelry; but it's just occurred to me that maybe it's because I'm picky about jewelry. Maybe designing my own will change this. Anyway, my therapist thinks I need to express myself creatively in some way. I think it's probably a good idea, not just for the sake of expressing myself in a new way (I know how to express myself in words; creating something visual will be something new), but also to fight the perfectionism that seems to have an eternal grip on my soul. Perfectionism, I believe, is the enemy of creativity, because when you are always trying to redo something to get it just so, you lose sight of the big picture of what you are creating. I have long recognized that my perfectionism is the main reason I tend NOT to involve myself in creative activities (or that they seldom last long when I do), but I'm going to force myself. But friends, as I said, beading IS. ADDICTIVE. When you walk in a bead shop, browse a bead website, or even just peruse the bead aisle in Jo-Ann's, look around at ALL THE PRETTY BEADS! THE CANE BEADS! THE SEED BEADS! THE CZECH BEADS! THE LAMPWORK BEADS! THE MILLEFIORIS! I'm hyperventilating right now as I'm typing.

So...my point being, my blogging time has been extremely limited, what with all these cool beads to drool over.

More randomness...last night we had a date night, as in, eating out and hanging out sans kiddos (for probably just the second time since Aislinn has been born). Went to a sushi bar at a Japanese restaurant. I have had sushi at Chinese buffets before, but I figured such sushi could not be real sushi. Well, it didn't seem far off, but my...the choices are far better at a sushi bar (shocker, I know). I've decided my new favorite is the spicy tuna roll. We also tried salmon roe sushi, but though I'm glad I tried it (being the adventurous eater that I am), I am not crazy about it. It's not the gross-out factor; it's the salty-, fishy-taste factor. Can anyone tell me if other varieties of caviar-stuffed sushi are any better? Because if they are more or less the same, I just won't bother. There are too many spicy tuna, shrimp tempura, and California rolls to be eaten to bother with something I know is just a big "eh!".

And then after the sushi, we went to Jo-Ann's where Leo humored me while I hyperventilated over beads.

Have I ever mentioned that along with too many videos, I also have too many CD's? I mentioned buying a Yo-Yo Ma CD a couple of weeks ago; tonight it was Diana Krall: another find I should have found long, long ago, considering that her music reminds me a bit of Norah Jones, whose music I love.

It's 2 a.m. I should really be in bed, but this is the first time I've had alone all day, and as an introvert, I crave alone time. I've got the munchies, but I really should avoid that, being so late at night and still trying to lose weight (and having seemed to have hit a plateau, hopefully just a brief one). Ah, what the heck, maybe some Teddy Grahams and milk will put me in the mood to sleep.

I won something!!!

Thanks, mrtl

Another Music Meme

1. The person (or persons) who passed the baton to you.

Kitsune at Wasabi

2. Total volume of music files on your computer.

Of stuff I've actually downloaded? Not counting the random garbage that came with Dell Jukebox? 0.0 GB. For some reason I feel like I need to wait until I have an iPod (sort of a backwards compulsion I have, I guess).

3. The title and artist of the last CD you bought.

Silk Road Journeys: Beyond the Horizon, by Yo-Yo Ma

4. Song playing at the moment of writing.

Could It Be Magic, by Barry Manilow (I put this CD in specifically for the honor of this meme, just to be silly)

5. Five songs you have been listening to of late (or all-time favorites, or particularly personally meaningful songs)

All-time favorite SONG + four other personally meaningful songs:

1) Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon and Garfunkel (all-time favorite. Phenomenal lyrics, outstanding musicians, written the year I was born)
2) My One Thing, Rich Mullins (my personal anthem by someone who died far too young with too many songs left to write)
3) I Knew I Loved You, Savage Garden (lyrics "I knew I loved you before I met you" significant to me as a mother)
4) Valentine, Martina McBride and Jim Brickman (Leo and I were married on Valentine's Day. 'Nuff said.)
5) Sometimes by Step, Rich Mullins (significance too deep and lengthy to explain in a simple meme...let's just say a song that was a personal theme one summer I spent on the shore of Lake Huron in Michigan's UP)

6. The five unfortunate victims to whom you will afflict with this musical baton.

Susie
Lawbrat
Mrtl
Spoonleg
Greenthumb

7. Super bonus question (I think Kitsune added this one himself, but I'll bite...)! Do you dance by yourself when you think no one is looking?

Absolutely! I also sing LOUD when I'm in the car by myself; I'm sure other drivers get a kick out of THAT even if they can't hear me.

(For a fun look at Kitsune's inspiration for this question, go here. Use IE to view for best results. And if you don't have broadband, it's worth the wait).

Of art and rice cereal

I've always thought Audrey is a talented little artist. You can just look at my refrigerator to see. I also always believed I'm a normal, biased mother who tends to exaggerate. But a couple of things happened this week that make me wonder...

First of all, Audrey went to the doctor to get a physical. Actually, she saw the nurse practitioner because we had to get it done as soon as possible, and she was the first available appointment (why did we need to do it as soon as possible? Because she IS going to kindergarten in the fall! But that's another story...). Audrey usually hates going to the doctor (or nurse) because it usually means she has to get a shot or two. However, we'd already been in for a couple of shots the week before, so she wasn't scheduled for any this time. Because she was not dreading a needle, she actually enjoyed this physical. She loved that the nurse was asking HER all kinds of questions, that she got to go down and look at a little chart to test her vision, and listen to some beeps to test her hearing, and that it was basically all about HER. (If only we all could think about going to the doctor this way...but I digress. I'm starting to ramble. Hi mrtl!)

Before the nurse practitioner came in, after the RN had weighed her, measured her, taken her blood pressure, we were sitting and waiting. As usual, we had to wait about a half hour, maybe a little more. It wasn't until almost the end of this waiting time that I noticed a picture on the wall, obviously drawn by a child. It was framed and matted...and looked vaguely familiar. It was a picture of two girls and an adult, surrounded by butterflies of all different colors. I blinked, and looked again. It DID look SO familiar...at the bottom of the matting was a few words. I got up to look closer. "Audrey, age 3...AUDREY! That's your picture on the wall! Look!" I practically shrieked. After Audrey recovered her hearing (good thing this was also AFTER the hearing test), we talked about how it could have gotten up there on the wall. I finally remembered that last year when I had brought her in for something or other, again to see the nurse practitioner, Audrey had drawn her this picture. The nurse had made such a fuss over it and asked if she could keep it. Well, of course...Audrey had drawn it just for her. I assumed it would go in her file, as my thyroid doctor and midwife have both put pictures Audrey had drawn for them in MY files. Apparently not, though, for there it was, right there on the wall in the exam room. And as soon as the nurse came in, the first thing she asked was, "Audrey, did you see your picture up there?" I am so proud. My daughter, she's an artist you know.

As if this were not enough...a few days ago, we got some mail from Sesame Street Magazine, which comes with my subscription to another magazine. Almost a year ago, Audrey had drawn a picture of Zoe, copied from a page in the magazine. I was impressed with the detail in it, and decided we should submit it for consideration for Big Bird's Fridge, the last page of the magazine. A month or so went by, and then Audrey received a post card from Big Bird. The post card thanked her for "writing", and I figured that was all that would come of it. The post card is still on our refrigerator (if you care to look again).

So when this package arrived, almost a year later, I was mystified. We opened it up, and found the original picture she had drawn, along with two copies of the July issue of Sesame Street Magazine. "How nice of them to send her original back, even if it's a year later," I thought to myself, "but why did they send us two copies of the magazine?" Suddenly it dawned on me (and if I had been smart, I would have found a letter inside the envelope explaining everything). "Leo, give me one of those! Open it up...the last page!" Sure enough, on the last page, practically smack dab in the middle, was her picture.



Want a close up? I've got it right here:



And the original? You betcha:



If you look close, you can see the barrettes she drew in Zoe's hair. If you have REALLY good eyes, you'll see the one on the right is a butterfly. Just like the real Zoe.

Yep. That's my kid! She's an artist you know. Real eye for detail, she's got.

Just so Aislinn won't feel left out, let me show you what her lovely mug looked like this afternoon.



This was not her first, but her second, foray into the wonderful world of rice cereal. I tried to get a picture of her face after the first time, but wouldn't you know, she grabbed that bib and wiped her face clean. No joke (and no fun for pictures!). So I snapped the picture today. The mess on her face is less a testament to how she felt about the cereal, because she loved it, and more to the fact that it's been about four and a half years since I've fed a baby runny rice cereal. Aislinn also likes grabbing for the bowl and the spoon already, which contributed to the rice face.

I'm looking forward to green beans next week!

Stuff Portrait Friday: Kid's room, Collections, and Computer desks

Let me first warn you that Audrey is a typical American child with far too many toys. Her dad and I claim only partial responsibility for this. Even in her first couple of years, before we realized we were giving her too much for Christmas and birthdays, my mom still gave her more than we did.

That said, we're doing a bit better. She's been taking more responsibility to clean her room herself, but you will see the ramifications of that in some of these pictures. I have been decluttering in her room a bit, but the real work won't begin until after she starts school in the fall (meaning, when I can toss stuff without her noticing or missing it).

So. She insisted on posing in each of these pictures. Here's the damage:



Note that a large swath of carpet IS visible, and the bed is made (though sloppily, she made it herself).



This is the corner by the foot of her bed. This is where she shoves all the toys that are scattered on the floor when she is ordered to clean up her room. Notice the proximity of the toy box. Consider how much more effort (little) would be necessary to actually put the toys IN. THE. TOY. BOX.



This is the shelf by the head of her bed. This is where play sets are stored (like Loving Family, Little People, Weebles, etc.), and also where her crayons, markers, drawing pads, and coloring books go. I really need to ditch the coloring books, but I am loathe to throw away anything she has drawn all by herself. There must be five or six completely filled drawing pads in there. I must steel myself to pitch most of them.



This is her closet, which I try to keep in order as best I can. I have not yet figured out how to deal with shoes, of which she has already amassed a collection that rivals my own. The closet is not big enough for a shoe shelf. Maybe when we move in the next year or so... Also notice the pink sweater thrown ON TOP of the hanging bar. She is capable of putting things on hangers; I have witnessed as much. However, the reason for her lack of discipline will soon be made clear...

(Aislinn does not have her own room yet. She sleeps in our room, as Audrey did the first 2 1/2 years of her life. When we get a bigger house, they will share a room until Audrey gets big enough to want her own room!)

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First, consider my video collection. This is not all of it. Videos are stacked two deep on these two shelves. There are also some videos in the living room, about fifty. Maybe a third of those in the living room are Audrey's. The rest in there, and all pictured here, are mine. Leo owns virtually no videos. Most of these were bought in the years between my return from China and when Audrey was born, a period of about six years. I now have far less time to watch videos, so I buy fewer.

Are you starting to see why Audrey has a problem with clutter? Let's continue...



This is our computer desk. I share it with Leo, as I share the computer (or perhaps I should say, fight for control of). We recently upgraded to a nice yet inexpensive Dell, complete with large flat screen monitor and wireless keyboard and mouse. However, these little extras make room for more clutter on the desk. Everyone in the family has something on this desk; for example, one of the coffee mugs is mine, the other (though originally holding green tea) is Leo's. See the little yellow plastic link to the right of my coffee mug? That's Aislinn's. And the little brown box with the purple and orange butterfly on top is Audrey's; she keeps her jewelry in it (she's such a diva). Aislinn's toy is there because she frequently needs distraction from trying to help us type. Audrey's box is there because...I have no idea why.

The desk has looked much better than this; it's on the verge of being cleaned. It probably won't look much worse.

Bonus: if you can tell me who's blog is featured on my computer screen, I'll link to you!

Update: Amy guessed correctly that Kristine's blog was on my computer screen. Congrats, Amy! Now everyone go click on her link and visit her blog!