The van saga continues

An friend has an acquaintance whose husband buys and sells used cars at a dealer's-only auction. (Already I can hear how bad this sounds. Bear with me.) Friend says acquaintance can get a few vans for us to look at (based on what year, model, and options we are looking for), and let us pick the one we want, for a reasonable fee. Leo goes to meet acquaintance, believes she seems trustworthy. Yesterday acquaintance calls Leo and tells him that we've missed the Chrysler auction for this week, but we can go on down to the auction site and look around at what is there. So we get a babysitter (good planning, since we find out only upon arriving that no one under 18 is allowed on the premises) and take a few hours to go look around.

Upon arriving, we go into the main building and tell the receptionist we are "friends" of this dealer, assuming that will get us in to look around. She makes a quick call, then says, "Mr. N's office is right over there; go on in." We're a bit confused, having thought we'd just go out and look where the Chrysler vehicles are kept (how naive we are). But we go over to Mr. N's office, who says, "You guys must be the ones looking for the Town and Country. E (his wife) shouldn't have sent you here today; the auction's over." Nice. We know this. We're not here for the auction. Apparently some slight miscommunication here.

It gets worse.

(I'm going to call him Hair from now on, because he has the kind of thick hair that looks like a toupe but is probably real except maybe the color, and should just be kept shorter, and because I end up really ticked off at him at the end. Incidentally, he supposedly used to play for the Pacers a long while back, though a quick Google of his last name turned up one single link, not him.)

We stand in his office (behind a couple of chairs, never once asked to sit down), while he babbles on about how the kind of van we want doesn't show up all the time and may not be easy to find. We have to remind him TWICE that we don't REQUIRE leather seats, we don't REQUIRE an LXI, but specifically want two automatic sliding doors and a 3.8 engine. Hair continues to go on, clearly not listening to us, acting somewhat aloof. I'm ready to walk out, expecting him to blow us off quickly and politely, as it's clear his wife expected him to work with us, but did not let him know we were coming. He instead gets on his computer to see if he can find something we like, warns us not to tell people we are doing this, because they only ever do this for friends, at which point I'm wondering why his wife is helping us, since she does NOT know us, and only met Leo once. He keeps talking to ME, even though Leo is the one doing the talking for us. He also keeps implying his wife is an idiot, and at one point even says (I kid you not), "E talks out of her butt sometimes." Even though it's clear he is not really interested in helping us, he keeps rambling on and not giving us an out to leave. He takes a couple of phone calls while he's talking to us. Tells us we don't have to pay anything until we get the car (BIG red flag: Leo has already written a check for 70% to his wife). Keeps finding vehicles that we have said we DON'T want. Finally finds one that seems acceptable, hanging on to us while making us feel we are intruding upon him. Tells us to call him Friday so he can let us know if it's likely to go to auction next week. We say, fine, thanks for your help, and walk out.

As soon as Leo closes the door to Hair's office, I say out loud, "Asshole!" Yep. I said a naughty word. Can't help the truth.

Clearly Hair's wife cannot be trusted, even if there is a small chance she meant no harm. Hair does not get any points for congeniality; he may not have wanted us there, but that's hardly our fault. I feel embarrassed, insulted, and just plain ticked off that we still are no closer to having a vehicle.

The day is not over yet. Oh no. Not by a long shot. Leo wants to look around at some car lots in the area and ends up at a big Westside one. We see a red Town and Country (2001 or 02) that is almost a twin to the one we saw a few days ago that we could not get. We take it for a spin, even though the price on the sticker is about $1500 more than I know Leo wants to pay (with the guy telling us it's a bottom line, clearance price), and I question the wisdom of test-driving this van when I KNOW how hard-headed he is about price. We both drive it. I like it. It's got just about all the options we were hoping for, minus a DVD player, but as I've said, that's no biggie. One significant problem: the speedometer does not work. When we get back, Leo tells the guy about this, and expresses hesitancy over the price. About this time I try to make myself scarce. I have no problem with dickering for a better price, but Leo is really embarrassing sometimes. The guy, amazingly, seems willing to deal, despite having said previously the price would go no lower. So we go inside.

Leo gets the guy down to a price about $1ooo more than I thought he would pay; apparently he's tired of the hunt too. They get everything down on paper, including fixing the speedometer, and then the guy mentions an $89.5o documentation fee. Right away, I know we're in for trouble.

[tangent, ala mrtl]When I bought my first car about 9 years ago, my dad was with me, and told me to decide on what monthly payments I wanted, and not waver from it. They agreed to my price, and then when we sat down for financing, it was about $15 a month more than what I wanted. I protested. Not loudly, but firmly. I was paying $150 a month, no ifs, ands, or buts. The lady kept typing, coming up with amounts that were closer and closer to my goal. Finally, she said, "Well, I can take off the $50 doc fee, there's not much left after that." That took me down to $150 and some change. I was happy. And then dad said, "OK, what if I put $200 down? How low will that take it?" Gotta love my dad! Later, I asked him irritably, why the heck they put all those random fees on there if they can take them off? [end tangent]

[second, related tangent]When we bought the Windstar five years ago, Leo pulled his usual stunts, squeezing the guy for everything he was worth till his boy-parts were probably black and blue. When they finally agreed to a price, and then the guy mentioned doc fees, I kept my mouth shut, knowing now that they can be waived, but not wanting to encourage Leo to keep playing his game. Later, as we drove off in the van, I gleefully told him of his oversight and my knowledge of it. He rolled his eyes at me, we both laughed, and went home and enjoyed the van. [end tangent]

Now, here, talking about doc fees, I knew LEO knew they could be waived. Never mind they'd agreed to a price. He was going to balk. I braced myself for it. And he did. The guy tells him they don't knock off doc fees. I'm privately a bit surprised, knowing better myself, but I know better than to open my mouth. Leo won't budge. And won't budge. And finally I get up and walk out the door, unable to sit and listen anymore. It's just too uncomfortable. To Leo, it's a game. To me, it's embarrassing, this haggling over $89.50 after the guy already knocked off over $500 AFTER he said he wouldn't knock anything off. As I walk away, I hear the guy say quietly, "Then we have no deal." Maybe, as Leo said later, he thought I was throwing a tantrum and was counting on it working on Leo. I know I am not throwing a tantrum, and don't count on anything working on Leo. I expect to see him in the car with me in less than a minute. After about five, and seeing through the window that some manager-looking dude is over at the desk talking with them, I realize they must have come to an agreement after all.

Unbelievable.

Even from Leo's explanation later, I still can't figure out who gave in. But we go home knowing we've got a van, pending repair of the speedometer.

And it's still not over. Oh no. On the way home, I ask Leo if he wants to get the car checked out by a mechanic, something we've always done. He smacks himself on the forehead; he totally forgot about that. Is it too late? He doesn't think so. But this morning, our guy says he won't allow it. Now I'm pissed. I want a van. I want this van. But I want it to work, longer than their paltry 1-month/1000-mile warranty, and I DON'T want to buy any kind of extended warranty without knowing what we are likely to need. Leo says he is still going to try, but he's not entirely sure we could get out at this point. He agreed to a price and signed something; I did not sign anything and did not see what he signed. It's possible we could lose our earnest money, about $100, but Leo also says he's resigned to getting the van at this point unless something really bad shows up. I am worried that six months from now, he'll be complaining about something that's gone wrong with the van and will be vaguely hinting it's my fault for walking out and "forcing his hand".

I'm sick and tired of the whole process. I just. want. a. van.