Neighbor kids are freaking me out
Ok. On one hand, I've been glad Audrey now has friends near at hand to play with. There are three (sometimes four) little girls, ranging in age from four to ten, who come over and play a few times a week.
On the other hand...maybe because this is a new thing, maybe because even when I was a kid, we always played outside (and it was only boys to play with in my neighborhood), so I don't know what my own mom would have said. But anyway...these kids are driving me nuts!
Kid #1 is 10. Kids #2 and 3 are siblings, 8 and 4. Kid #4 is 8.
I prefer them to play outside, especially when they are all over here at once. I have a baby whose nap schedule is irregular, and I just tend to like it on the quiet side in my house. Now, granted, I shouldn't expect a terribly quiet house when I have three kids of my own. But this is exactly why I prefer them to all play outside. Three kids can be loud. Seven kids? Pandemonium.
Ever since I started making them play outside most of the time (and hello! it's SUMMER! And we do have shade trees!) the three oldest ones have been subtly rebelling. The 10-year-old once came while I was napping (Leo's sister was around, so there was still an adult awake) and since I was not around to shoo them outside, said that she had to play inside because she was going somewhere later and was not allowed to get sweaty.
(Insert a little eye-rolling here.)
Today the three oldest (and I have to say the four-year-old has never been anything but sweet...so far) were here. First they said it was too hot. Nope. It was a balmy 78 degrees, a pleasant evening. Then they tried to tell Audrey they were allergic to mosquitos (all of them). THEN one of the 8-year-olds said she was afraid she would get sick if she played outside (eh??). I firmly held my ground (since I felt I had previously not been firm enough) and made them stay outside.
(I do let them come in to use the bathroom or get a drink if they need to.)
The other thing, the thing that I think is going to be trouble, is the fact that one of the 8-year-olds (the one who apparently gets sick in 78 degree weather) has been bringing her *babysitter* over here with her to play. A high school girl. After the first time I met her a few days ago, I found out she (the babysitter) had already been here a couple of times. In my house. Without anyone telling me. Least of all the babysitter. I'm not sure if I was gone or just in another part of the house, but apparently it's become a routine for little miss 8 to come over HERE to play with her babysitter.
I have not been able to put my finger on exactly why this is wrong, but it just feels...wrong. I don't want to play host to a high school kid who is not MY babysitter (heck, who I don't even really know). I don't know if the 8-year-old's mom knows they are coming here, but it wouldn't surprise me (would explain a lot about her daughter). I guess I just think if someone is babysitting, they shouldn't take the kid to other people's houses uninvited. I don't care if the kid comes over, but...okay, someone, please, can you tell my why it's weird for the babysitter to come here?
On the other hand...maybe because this is a new thing, maybe because even when I was a kid, we always played outside (and it was only boys to play with in my neighborhood), so I don't know what my own mom would have said. But anyway...these kids are driving me nuts!
Kid #1 is 10. Kids #2 and 3 are siblings, 8 and 4. Kid #4 is 8.
I prefer them to play outside, especially when they are all over here at once. I have a baby whose nap schedule is irregular, and I just tend to like it on the quiet side in my house. Now, granted, I shouldn't expect a terribly quiet house when I have three kids of my own. But this is exactly why I prefer them to all play outside. Three kids can be loud. Seven kids? Pandemonium.
Ever since I started making them play outside most of the time (and hello! it's SUMMER! And we do have shade trees!) the three oldest ones have been subtly rebelling. The 10-year-old once came while I was napping (Leo's sister was around, so there was still an adult awake) and since I was not around to shoo them outside, said that she had to play inside because she was going somewhere later and was not allowed to get sweaty.
(Insert a little eye-rolling here.)
Today the three oldest (and I have to say the four-year-old has never been anything but sweet...so far) were here. First they said it was too hot. Nope. It was a balmy 78 degrees, a pleasant evening. Then they tried to tell Audrey they were allergic to mosquitos (all of them). THEN one of the 8-year-olds said she was afraid she would get sick if she played outside (eh??). I firmly held my ground (since I felt I had previously not been firm enough) and made them stay outside.
(I do let them come in to use the bathroom or get a drink if they need to.)
The other thing, the thing that I think is going to be trouble, is the fact that one of the 8-year-olds (the one who apparently gets sick in 78 degree weather) has been bringing her *babysitter* over here with her to play. A high school girl. After the first time I met her a few days ago, I found out she (the babysitter) had already been here a couple of times. In my house. Without anyone telling me. Least of all the babysitter. I'm not sure if I was gone or just in another part of the house, but apparently it's become a routine for little miss 8 to come over HERE to play with her babysitter.
I have not been able to put my finger on exactly why this is wrong, but it just feels...wrong. I don't want to play host to a high school kid who is not MY babysitter (heck, who I don't even really know). I don't know if the 8-year-old's mom knows they are coming here, but it wouldn't surprise me (would explain a lot about her daughter). I guess I just think if someone is babysitting, they shouldn't take the kid to other people's houses uninvited. I don't care if the kid comes over, but...okay, someone, please, can you tell my why it's weird for the babysitter to come here?
posted by Andrea | 4:27 PM
5 Comments:
Interesting. And tricky. I guess that the babysitter is just doing her job by keeping an eye on the kid. I wouldn't want my paid sitter to sit at my house alone while my kid played somewhere else. So it seems that the only way for that child to play at your house is for the sitter to accompany her. I applaud you sticking to your rules. You're not required to entertain them just because they show up. Funny, around here we've always had playdates. No one shows up without parents calling ahead to set parameters -- inside/outside, what the activity will be, how long. I have longed for the good old days, like in my childhood, when we just went wherever and did whatever, like it seems in your neighborhood. Your post makes me appreciate how it is here, more. Maybe you could start being more structured? Tell them when they show up that it's not a good time, but Audrey will call soon to invite them? I dunno.
i guess i just think the babysitter can keep her at the kid's own house, or take her to a park if she wants to go out, and the little girl can come over when she is not being babysat. i don't really want to be more structured; i have never been a fan of playdates (too much planning!) and i also liked the way we just played in each others' yards when we were kids. i also don't like the presumption...either the babysitter or preferably the mother should have called to ask (and preferably, each time) if it was ok for the babysitter to come over with the little girl. i know, sounds like more structure...but this way the burden is not on me to plan it.
gah - I hate pop-ins, which would go for kids, too. I grew up this way, too, but as a parent I'm wary. Do these parents know where their kids are? I wouldn't mind it so much if I'd been in contact with the parents and it's quid pro quo.
I totally wouldn't be down with a babysitter coming over.
Am I uptight? Oh wait, this isn't about me. Your blog. lol
word verification: jblogj
I can't pinpoint why, but I wouldn't like it either. But then I don't even talk to my neighbors, so I'm not sure my opinion can be trusted.
If the kids aren't staying outside, I think you're well within your rights to tell them they need to stay out or not come over -- in a gentle way, of course. Stick with it, don't make excuses to them -- you're the adult here. :) "The weather's nice, go outside." "You can't be outside in this heat? Then maybe you should go on home until you're better."
As far as the babysitter bringing the kid over, I think you should gently tell the girl (the babysitter) that you don't think she should be bringing the child to someone else's house -- that's abdicating her own responsibility as a sitter. If she keeps doing it, I think you're going to have to talk to the mother and gently tell her that you're not comfortable with this, especially since the sitter has come into your house without permssion. Be sure to tell them that you're more than happy to have the children get together outside, but that you need to have some limits on the inside playtime for your own sanity. If you find a way to inject humor into it, it'll go over better.
Also send Audrey over to their houses sometimes! You can call those mothers to ask if Audrey can come over, thus setting an example of what you wish they'd do/have done.
When it gets to be cold out the inside thing will be more of an issue; you should start planning now how many children can be inside at a time and how you handle "drop-ins".
BUT doesn't it make you happy to know the kids want to hang with her? :) AND you know where they are and that Audrey isn't running with the neighborhood toughs. (Yet.)
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