When things like this happen (UPDATED)

Last night my sister's kids, my five-year-old nephew and two-year-old niece, spent the night with us. Their cousin, my brother-in-law's four-year-old niece, lies in the ICU of Riley Children's Hospital with complications due to contracting E. coli. She has been there for some weeks, and though her case has been serious, she was expected to recover completely. But she contracted a separate mysterious infection, most likely staph, and two nights ago almost died. She is still unconscious, hooked up to a respirator, and today they actually ran a brain scan on this little child because they are afraid she has no brain activity.

I have not heard any news since this morning, when my sister tearfully called to tell me about the brain scan. I hope that no news is good news, because if the brain scan had been negative, I can only imagine they would have been debating whether to shut off the respirator.

It's so hard to comprehend things like this. I know, in my head, that children get sick and die every day, all over the world, and yes, even in this developed country. But when it hits so close to home, that's when you start asking why.

I've asked why before. I asked God why He would even allow me to conceive only to let me miscarry four babies. I never got a clear answer to that question. But what I did come to realize is that this God, whom I've trusted my whole life, was not going to leave me now. I could still trust Him. He's always been good to me, and there was no reason now to believe that He would take pleasure in my pain, let alone deliberately cause it.

Sometimes I still have to remind myself of that. He is in control, and always will be. His plan is not for me to know, and I can't always understand His ways. I can't fathom why a four-year-old should go through so much pain, or why her parents should watch her suffer and perhaps die. But I know He is good, and I have to hold on to that when things like this happen.

I don't pretend to know why terrible things happen to people. But I do know that God weeps with us, because I know He wept with me.

(Update: I heard from my sis that the little girl died Saturday morning. They did indeed cut off life support when the brain scan showed nothing. I am angry and sad and confused on many different levels, but everything I said above, I still believe to be true.)